So I’ve been ending each post with “love and embrace the bend of your hair.”

I think I need a reminder.

As I type I’m  considering taking down my locks and starting over.

Ready for the back story? Here it goes.

Over the past several months, I’ve had my hair re-tightened twice by two different consultants. My installing consultant is currently taking a break.   Remember, I’ve been with my installing consultant from the beginning. Never had anyone else touch my locks. So  while I was nervous about having someone else re-tighten them, I definitely wanted to make sure they were doing okay while my installing consultant is on break.

Although I wasn’t a fit with the first consultant for several reasons, she did ask something that got me concerned. “Did you ask for your locks to be installed this big?” The way she asked bothered me, and was borderline offensive. I responded that I requested they be small but I thought they were just in the plump phase. She didn’t respond to that but later said “well at least your grid looks correct.” Alrighty then. I kept asking her questions about my locks but she was non-commital for the most part. I suppose you have to become a steady client before you get real feedback on your locks. I’ll let her cook with all of that. We just we’re a good fit.

However, the question over the size kept nagging at me everytime I looked in a mirror. Not to mention, I’ve had quite a few people ask if I have traditional locks – even at the Sisterlocks Revolution we had here a few months ago. I want to cry real tears when I’m asked that. No shade to the traditional lock rockers, but that’s not what I was going for. AT ALL.

However, it’s a fact, many of my locks are much bigger than I thought they would be. I know you’re not supposed to compare your journey to anyone else’s. Different hair types, different looks, different results. However, there was always a look I was going for that I thought I could get close to with the small and medium locks that were to have been installed on my head almost 2 years ago. I asked for all small locks actually but was told that you don’t install one size over the entire head, which is understandable.

I thought all this time that they were just in the unruly teen phase,  plump and swollen because I have a lot of density. I’ve just been patient with them, as you’re supposed to be, and have been waiting for them to condense a bit and become more manageable. My ass can’t style worth a damn but these plump locks don’t make it any easier. But I’m sitting around thinking it’s all a part of the journey and waiting to get to the good part.

Sunday, I went to a new consultant who was pre-screened by my installing consultant. We had a consultation and things were good to go.  My re-tightening took ELEVEN and A HALF HOURS. I practically had another installation! During this 11 hours, bless her heart, she straightened out my grid as best she could and alerted me to some issues with it. I was troubled by that but not as much as her telling me that I in fact had XXL locks.

WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS?!

She showed me locks throughout that she thought should have actually been two locks.  She had a rough time retightening me with the hook tool because of the size of the locks. She had to gently push it through the lock which took a lot of time. The other consultant used the same tool and obviously had the same issue. However,  she forced it through the lock recklessly. She tore and ripped through my hair without a care in the world. I had to restrain myself when one of my bulbs on the end came flying off in my lap.  I was installed and maintained with either the nappylocs or clip tool. I should know that, but don’t get me to lying.

After leaving there, I felt and still feel some kinda way! Strange thing is, I’m not angry. Just a bit disappointed and…saddened. I don’t blame anyone. This is just a part of my journey and I’ve got to decide where to go from here. I’ve got well over two grand and HOURS of my life invested in these locks. But if  this is what they are going to be forever, I’m wondering if I should get off this bicycle now and go back and put the training wheels on, so to speak. Or should I just learn to love them as they are?

Before I make any final decision, I will let another consultant or two take a look at them. In making a decision this big, you can’t just take one and a half persons word for it.  If another consultant(s) tells me that my locks were installed at the correct size and that my hair was likely going to do this regardless, I will have to keep it moving.

Frankly, I am going to Paris this Spring and prayerfully South Africa next spring. Another installation is not really in the budget. However, my hair is my crown and I have to be happy with it. As I’ve been taking another look around the sisterlock world, I see that my lock size is not unusual. of course. I always accepted the fact that my hair was going to do what it was going to do. I just want to know that I got what I asked for. That’s it. That’s all.

I didn’t include any pics of my do because I’m not really feeling it right now. I haven’t curled it in weeks. It is growing nicely and it’s great to see my grid. I’ll be back with an update once I figure this all out.

Thank you for “listening!” Any thoughts are welcome.

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